I’ve always wondered why we fight, why there are arguments that turn into fights, and end up damaging relationships, instigating hatred and aversion. We are after all, members of the same species, made of the same fabric and share the same emotions. Why then, do we not understand each other, or attempt at the same?
I’m not talking about the international disturbances, the war against terrorism or any such high profile fundas. This is a very gharelu affair. I’m sure most of us have, at some point or the other wondered, ‘Why did we fight?’ and later regretted, ‘I should never have said that!’
Everytime I fight, I introspect. And all that thinking has lead to one solid conclusion, we fight to be right, to be the good over evil, right over wrong. And in this race, we forget that ultimately we’re all on the same side. Somewhere, between that ego and righteousness, we all long to co-exist, peacefully. Here's how we can make that happen.
Difference of opinion. Reminding yourself that you need not have the same opinion about everything, all the time. I’ve started practicing it every time I feel the conversation is heading towards an unwanted argument. Surprisingly, it works!
Keep calm until the storm passes away. So there’s this quote I read a couple of years back by Timber Hawkeye, that totally makes sense now, ‘You can’t calm the storm… so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass’. It always needs ‘two to tango’ (here tussle) so if one of the parties’ quits on being headstrong about their view point and let the agitated one vent out till they’re cool, the damages after the storm can be averted. Being patient is the key!
Words are like an arrow. Sometimes, verbal confrontation can be a lot more damaging than the physical one. It scars the emotions and creates a negative chain reaction. So the next time those words pile up in your head, you know what to do; never let them out!
So if you ever see yourself succumbing to an argument, just question yourself, 'Who's more important, the person or the point?'. Let me not sound like a shrink here, I’m one of you, a mango person. And this is just a realization!